A hug for my soul

A journey of grieving and healing after child loss

Trying to be A Christian


I’m reading Maya Angelou’s Letter to My Daughter for the second time on our flight to Tasmania.

This woman makes me smile and cry. She saying she often responded those who claimed themselves to be Christians with ‘already?’ and that she herself was ‘trying to be a Christian’.

She says her grandma, Mamma, when confronted with a challenge, often told the kids that she ‘was trying to be a Christian and will just step out on the word of God’.

Maya also wrote, ‘ whenever I began to question whether God exists, I looked up to the sky and surely there, right there, between the sun and the moon, stands my grandmother, singing a long meter hymn, a song somewhere between a moan and a lullaby and I know faith is the evidence of things unseen. And all I have to do is continue trying to be a Christian.’

I know when I begin to question whether God exists, I look up the sky and I usually see nothing. My own grandma doesn’t stand between the sun and the moon, nor she could really sing, but she always comes, when I desperately need her. She takes me by the hand and wipes away my tears, takes me to places and be with me when I am scared, just like my ordinary and extraordinary grandma. She points to the sky and fades away again.

Now I know what you all mean.

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